I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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