i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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