also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
