Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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