pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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