Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
