hotel room ftw
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
