his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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