His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
