Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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