Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
