so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
