How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
