So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
