Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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