She's JV to your varsity
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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