check it out our google latitudes are spooning
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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