Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
