i permit you to call me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
