shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
