I think my vagina is haunted
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
