Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
