Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Randomize