i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
