He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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