Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
