I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
