Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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