This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
