Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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