I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
