Define "chronic" masturbator.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
