i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
