So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
