I cannot find my penis.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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