There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize