Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
