My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
