On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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