My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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