Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
