Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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