Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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