i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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