is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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