i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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