forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
