I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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