he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
