There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
