In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
