Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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