Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
