I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
