Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
