haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
