Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
