It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
