yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
