it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
