you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
