Your face is a jimmy john
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
