Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
