Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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