i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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